To Love or To Follow
by MewSayuri Hitachiin Mutomancer
Summary: Nephry had always loyally followed the Score, but her world comes crashing down when she is read her birthday Score. A short one-shot revealing her thoughts about the Score after she had been told the tormenting news of her future of how her and a certain childhood friend will not have the happy ending she was hoping for. I'm horrible at summaries. I'm so sorry.


**Yay~! My first story is up and it's for my favourite game of all time! Okay. Maybe not, but I still love this game. I don't pick favourites. I realize it's short, and it's not a multi-chap, but I did my best. I've been really slacking with writing. I mean, I only have two things up... I have a lot of Word documents and ideas, but too lazy to edit and post. I hate myself for that. Anyway, sorry for boring you and telling you things you don't really care about. **

******Now, I'm just going to say, I had some inspiration after reading the Tales of the Abyss Peony Gaiden on Manga Reader and wrote this down. Most of this was just spur of the moment, but I still hope you enjoy nonetheless. Now, onto the story.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss or the Peony Gaiden, because if I did, Nephry and Peony would have ended up together anyway and I wouldn't be here writing FanFictions. I'd be making another Tales of game.**

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I hate it. I hate the Score. I hate it with all my soul. I just can't come to ignore it though. It's everywhere. It is used for everything. I hate it - there are no other words that can describe what I feel. It's torn me away from who I loved. I never thought I would hate it at all, let alone despising it as much as I do now. I've always followed it. The Score is absolute. It's the planet's memory. You can't change anything that is to happen. Everything is written in the Score and no one has defied it, but at that moment I wished for nothing more than to do just that. But I was scared. I had followed it all my life and I was scared to deviate from it and lead a life I wouldn't know the outcome of, but I couldn't deal with it anymore. I couldn't bear the thought of being forced to marry another man. Now I hated my parents, too. How could they tell me to forget him?! I had known him since we were children and he was the first man I ever loved. We wrote each other letters all the time! Didn't they understand that?! Did they even know what true love is?! Of course they did, didn't they? They had married because of love, right?

I couldn't stand it and I didn't understand. Why did the world hate me? I didn't know what to do anymore, but I did the only thing I could think of at that time: I wrote him another letter. It helped me vent my feelings and I was, temporarily, at peace.

That night, he came to my window, like he always used to do, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He made my pain resurface and I couldn't hold it in any longer. He held me tight and told me he understood. Of course he did. He was the other half of this torturous future. He damned the Score, which shocked me. I never thought I'd ever hear anyone say something like that. I shouted I couldn't accept my marriage to another, and I didn't want to accept the Score. I could see the pain in his eyes-it reflected mine. He looked conflicted and almost looked like he was about to cry with me. He said he was willing to give up everything he had, everything he did and what he was going to do, for me. He would even abandon his own country for me. I could tell he cared so much about me. I couldn't let him do that. I just couldn't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. Even though he would be half way across Auldrant, as long as he was alive and well, I would be happy. I loved him too much to let him give it all up. He needed to lead his country. The feelings that he had for me were neither lies nor fake and the feelings that I had for him were neither lies nor fake. I was sorry - and I still am - but because of these feelings, I cannot be with him. And I would not permit myself to be with him because his country needed him. One kiss and he was gone, but I vowed with my life that I loved him. And I always will.

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**I hoped you enjoyed it! I personally thought it was good, but I'm still unsure about it. I enjoyed writing it, which is good, right? I really like constructive criticism, but I get upset when someone sends me flames. Although, considering I only posted one thing, I haven't gotten any, but I have to my face for other things. Anyway, please review! If you want, of course.**

**I also apologize for rambling. I do that a lot... *sweatdrop***

**~MewSayuri  
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